Colon cleansing

Bowel detoxification program. An alternative to enemas and laxatives.

What?

I've been getting these spam emails telling me of the wonders of cleaning my colon. I'm sorry, I have enough issues with my colon that going through 2-3 days of unpleasantness (one site recommends starting on a Friday and taking Monday off from work -- really!) just doesn't sound like fun to me.

Here's one of the promotions:

Benefits of Colon Cleansing: Notice that you have so much more energy. This is because you are now able to absorb the full nutrition from the good food that you eat. Notice that you require less sleep and still wake refreshed. Notice that the little aches and pains that you used to have are gone. Notice that your eyes are so much brighter. Notice that your skin is softer, smoother and healthier-looking. Notice that you feel lighter and happier overall. Notice that you have lost weight. Notice that your digestive system works 1,000% better without needing laxatives, enemas, or any type of support, as you’ve gotten things working correctly again!

Harmful Side Effects:They tell you not to worry if taking the cleanser makes you feel sick because that's a sign that the product is working. According to one pamphlet, gas and other gastrointestinal discomfort along with flu-like symptoms such as sneezing and a runny nose are "temporary, positive signs that your body is working to rid itself of the toxin build-up." Another product says, "Do not be alarmed if you pass strings of mucus ... for a couple of weeks as this is a good sign that you are detoxifying." Yet another tells patrons to "just relax and appreciate your body's cleansing process if you develop any of the following -- headaches, bad breath or body odor, dizziness, irritability, skin eruptions ... or low energy."

But do not relax. Dizziness could be a sign that you're becoming dehydrated. And strings of mucus—the intestine's response to stimulation—mean the body views the cleanser as a toxin and is trying to get rid of it. The idea of having to feel worse before you feel better is particularly dangerous in light of the fact that feeling bad is very possibly a sign that a cleanser is disagreeing with you in a serious way. Consider a U.S. Food and Drug Administration report that linked kidney problems and progressive muscle weakness to a cleansing formula that contained herbs and fiber. In another FDA report, a body cleanser that contained clay, cascara, and comfrey was associated with diarrhea, abdominal pain, and vomiting up blood. A woman even ended up in the emergency room with life-threatening heart problems after ingesting an herbal cleansing regimen with tainted ingredients. (Unlike drugs, cleansers do not have to meet standards for quality and purity.)

Not convincing enough? Then maybe this photo of what exits your body will be convincing enough. Which begs another question -- why are they holding it with their hands?? YUK!!!

Bon Appetite!