Nut job

Thanks to Thunder Matt's Saloon for letting the world know that sometimes actor Gary Busey is a little out there.

Watch at Screen Junkies.com.

And definitely enjoy.

Happy birthday Dexter!

The doodles turned 4 years old yesterday. He's grown into a fine young man, as you can see here. No, he's not spoiled.

Sue's 52nd birthday is coming up on Nov. 11. I think we'll celebrate that at Thanksgiving. Then we are done with birthdays for the year, starting over with Zoe in January and Bailey in February.

Bailey is going to be 9! Hard to believe. But the queen of the house is still going strong.

Kyle Orton is the man

People scoffed, even laughed at me when I said the Chicago Bears should give Kyle Orton a chance at quarterback. And of course the Florida fans at work are still scoffing, giving me the "when Orton leads you guys to a Super Bowl, then he'll be as good as Rex Grossman" crap.

Well, Orton may yet have the last laugh. Orton has the Bears on top of the NFC North. They are only 4-3, but could easily be 7-0 -- and you can blame the vaunted defense for the three losses.

Orton's come a long way. From a guy who managed the offense while starting 15 games in 2005 -- for an injured Grossman, no less -- leading them to the playoffs. He didn't play much in 2006 or '07, biding his time until he got his opportunity. And boy is he taking advantage. He has a passer rating of 91.4 and has thrown 10 touchdown passes with only four interceptions.

The boy also loves to party, as this picture of Orton at an Iowa City bar (borrowed from Deadspin a couple of years ago illustrates. But that just adds to the charm.

So take that Gator fans. See you in the playoffs.

It's probably time to move on ...

Talk about an exclamation point ...

... Borrowed from The Onion ... I think this just about says it all about the Cubs 2008 season.

Tampa Bay Rays: "Fuck You, Cubs"

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — On the eve of their very first World Series appearance in a short 11-year team history, the Tampa Bay Rays took time Tuesday to acknowledge the Chicago Cubs' decades-long absence from the Fall Classic.

"Hey, fuck you, you losers, you had every chance," the announcement read in part. "Great regular season, wasn't it? But you've been losing so long it's gotten good to you, hasn't it? And without losing in the playoffs, you just don't have much of a team identity, do you? Pathetic. Well, wish us luck — no, wait, we don't believe in luck, good or bad, because we went out and earned a place in the World Series."

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig is expected to officially censure Rays management for the vulgar and undiplomatic nature of the announcement, but acknowledged Wednesday morning that "Christ, you've got to admit they have a point."

Funny. You gotta love The Onion.

But whatever Mary. You lost Game 1 last night to the frickin' Phillies. Go Phillies. In four.

(Bitter, party of millions. Bitter)

Sister Sue update

No news is good news I guess, which is why I haven't posted about her in a while. She's hanging in there, but is having a few more headaches than she's used to having. And while she's still around 80 pounds, she's found something she really likes -- Activia, the yogurt with probiotics. It has helped her in ways you can't imagine and in ways I won't explain here.

The family is all going to get together at her house for Thanksgiving. I think she'll really like that. But ugh. Josh and I are driving -- 17 hours each way. We'll be there Thursday and Friday and leave early Saturday so that both of us can be back at work Sunday.

That's OK. She'd do the same for me ...

The Amazing Survivor Race

Good news on both fronts: GC is gone from Survivor: Gabon and the blondes are gone from The Amazing Race.

GC deserved to go. And it tells you how much his tribe mates wanted him gone when they could have voted out Sugar, who has the immunity idol found on Exile Island. They even talked about backdooring Sugar, but in the end, they got rid of a cancer that quit on his team several times.

As for the blondes, Marissa and Brooke: If it's possible, you set the blonde nation back another 20 years. After finding out they were going to Auckland, New Zealand, Marisa wondered if the people there will like blondes as her cohort Brooke noted that they probably already have blondes in that country, since they’re not, like, rare or anything. As Saturday Night Live Weekend Update anchors Seth and Amy would say, "Really!"

But the best line of the night came from Dallas, when he was talking about his mom Toni having to deal with the natives during a Roadblock on Mount Eden. One team member had to choose an image of a tattoo worn by Maori warriors and match it to the face of an actual warrior. Dallas said he hoped the Maori don’t “eat his mom.” Now that's funny.

In the end, Ken and Tina took one of two Fast Forwards this season: Go directly to the Auckland Skytower, the tallest building in the Southern hemisphere at 1,076 feet, climb to the top and “pick up a friend," which happened to be a Travelocity Roaming Gnome! The gnome got them a trip to Rio. Bitches.

A bonus: With Phil on the mat in his native New Zealand was his dad, John!

Next week: Sarah's Terence (what a wuss) gets pulled over by the cops -- a traffic violation or hair crimes? Also, Kelly and Christy get nasty, making fun of Dallas’ hair and calling him Teen Wolf. Now there's an '80s reference we didn't need.

Philliminated Marisa and Brooke photo courtesy CBS

Gymnast tries his hand at diving

If you speak German, then this video will make complete sense to you. Otherwise, just enjoy the eye candy.

Thanks to Outsports.com.

Holy crap!

Brad Sciullo, 21, took down this 20-pound cheeseburger this week in under five hours.

The 5-11, 180-pound western Pennsylvania chef is the first person to eat a monstrosity called the Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser: a 15-pound burger with toppings and a bun that brought the total weight to 20.2 pounds.

The mountain of beef is the product of Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, about 100 miles northeast of Pittsburgh in Clearfield. "About three hours into it, things got tough," he said. Ya think?

The burger included a bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish, pub owner Dennis Liegey said.

All he got for it was $400, three T-shirts and a certificate.

And I'll bet a nice seat in front of and on his toilet.

Photo and text courtesy AP

Baseball playoffs

I still can't believe the Cubs were ousted in three games again. Which means I could really give a rat's ass about the rest of the postseason.

I was, however, happy to see the Philadelphia Phillies eliminate the Los Angeles Dodgers in five games and advance to their first World Series since 1993. I became a Dodger hater when a couple of guys at work started giving attitude even before the Dodgers played the Cubs in the Division Series. I was told at work last night that one of the guys was taking the Dodgers' ouster pretty hard. Poor baby. I have no sympathy for him or the other guy. Take a lesson from a Cubs fan dude and then you'll know misery. Maybe if you hadn't been so arrogant, I might -- I might -- have felt badly for you. But in this case, you got what's coming to you.

As for the American League, looks like the Tampa Bay Rays (???) are going to move on. If they beat the defending champion Boston Red Sox tonight, they'll host the first two games next week at the Tropicana Dome in St. Petersburg.

Who do I want to win? Who cares? But if I had to choose ...

Go Phillies.

The Amazing Survivor Race

Why don't people read clues? Geez, with $1 million on the line, I'm reading everything, letter-by-letter.

Leave it to the nerds on The Amazing Race, a couple of guys who I thought were a lot smarter than that, to not read a very important clue -- use your legs not a cab -- and were eliminated in last week's episode that was filmed mostly in Bolivia. Maybe they really do live in the basement of the science building.

So who do I root for now? The Frat Boys? They don't seem to have an elevator that goes to the top floor either. I guess mother and son Toni and Dallas, who finished second, are the ones to root for now. I can't stand the blondes, Terrence & Sarah or Ken & Tina.

It's definite a very good season, despite my early disappointments with the eliminations. Can't wait for Sunday.

As for Survivor, the teams were redrawn and Jacquie ended up being voted out. Charlie, Marcus and Matty are my favorites -- it doesn't hurt that they are easy on the eyes -- and Randy is so obnoxious as to be likeable. But only to a point. He's a smart one and shouldn't be underestimated.

Tonight's episode looks interesting -- somebody disappears before a challenge. Hopefully it's GC. I don't want him hurt, just out of the competition.

Until next time ...

Nerds (Mark & Bill) photo courtesy CBS

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia -- We hardly knew ye ...

... My what a little vixen you were.

I loved the Brady Bunch as a kid, though I never had a thing for you. I was more a Peter (Christopher Knight) fan. I guess I should have known I was gay then, right?

Ed's 40th birthday ...

... is next June 11. He wants to go to Disney World. I've never been to the Magic Kingdom -- Ed took me to Epcot Center about 10 years ago.

Does anybody have any advice on package deals? Resort information? How to go on the relatively cheap? We'll probably go with his parents and maybe his brother/wife and two small boys. I'm told the best time to go is the week after Easter until early June to avoid crowds and possible heat.

Seriously, he's like the kid in the TV commercial the night before his first trip to Disney, which I've mentioned before: "I'm too excited to sleep."

And then while stumbling, I found the picture below. Something to look forward to next year, I think ...

The Amazing Survivor Race

TV is another good release for Cubs depression. The Amazing Race, my favorite, was on last night and we said goodbye to Anthony and Stephanie. It's not a good sign when you aren't in the TV spotlight much anyway. I know it's only been two shows, but you can already see who the dominant teams are and these two weren't in that group.

Ex-NFLer Ken and bitchy wife Tina got through the Roadblock and Detour first, ending up at the pitstop in Brazil first. All my favorites are still alive, including the Nerds and the Frat Boys. If I were a betting man, and I am, I'd say the Southern Belles (seriously, the epitome of dumb blondes) are next to go.

And poor Sarah, having to put up with the ego that is Terrence. I hope she realizes what a dope this guy is before it's too late. Dude, who wears the pants in that relationship? Brother and sister combo Nick and Starr ain't the brightest bulbs either (though he is a cutie).

I love this show, and I think everybody knows that (in fact, if there is a 15th version of the show -- No. 14 airs in the spring -- Josh and I are going to enter). Seriously, though, how stupid are some of these people? They don't pay attention and they don't read the clues, then they wonder why they performed so badly or were eliminated. I just don't get it. Get me on this show and I'll show you how it's done.

As for Survivor: Gabon, we said bye bye to Paloma, another person who we really didn't get to know all too well. Sugar found the immunity idol on Exile Island, so unless she's an idiot, she should go far, taking bald boy Ace right with her. Watching this week's previews, there's apparently going to be some kind of Tribal shakeup, so it will be interesting to see how that shakes out.

Frat boys Andrew and Dan photo courtesy CBS

Thank God for Da Bears

Seriously, if I didn't have my Chicago Bears to help me take my mind off the disappointment of the Cubs, I'd probably go crazy. I still can't believe the baseball season is over.

But my Bears are 3-2 (they could easily be 5-0) after yesterday's 34-7 win over the Detroit Lions. My boy Kyle Orton had the best game of his career, the defense is again a monster and rookie running back Matt Forte has been a fantasy football find. Are they Super Bowl-worthy like they were a couple of years ago? Maybe not this year -- I think the NFC road to Tampa is going to end up going through the NFC East (God, please don't let it be the Redskins). But the Bears lead the NFC North, which ain't the strongest division in the NFL. Check out the new Bears widget I've installed at right.

And could there be a funnier commercial than Brian Urlacher ad (at top) for Old Spice Swagger?

The NHL season also begins this weekend (in America anyway) with my Blackhawks in town to face the Washington Capitals. The Capitals are all the rage this year in D.C., so getting a ticket or two to Saturday's game is going to be almost impossible, unless I want to pay like $150 a ticket, which ain't happening. I love hockey and the Blackhawks, but these days I barely have enough money for a six-pack of beer let alone hockey tickets.

So it's a new day and two new sports. The Cubs? Dead to me until the tease begins again in February ...

Another picture worth 1,000 words ...

Zombie humor

I really have nothing to say ...

... The Normal Rockwell painting above should explain just about everything you need to know about the Cubs' 10-3 loss to the Dodgers last night, which means the Cubs have to win three in a row to advance to the NLCS.

Hey, it was fun while it lasted. I've even taken my Cubs wheel cover off the spare tire of my Jeep Liberty and replaced it with my Bears wheel cover. And I just know they are going to continue to tease me ...

I pushed that panic button below last night about 10 ...

Oooops ...

No matter what any Cubs fan says, panic has already set in. Ryan Dempster had nothing last night except free passes to first base, and they eventually came back to bite him in the ass in a 7-2 loss to the Dodgers.

So now it's up to Carlos Zambrano, he of the no-hitter and he of the unpredictable personality, to get the Cubs even tonight in a must-win game. If the Cubs lose tonight, they are all but dead heading to Los Angeles.

That's really all I have to say about this. If you'd like to read a good analysis, go to bleedcubbieblue.com.

Am I worried? You bet your ass I am...

And so it begins ...

Just 11 more victories, and this will be one glorious season for the Chicago Cubs. Time to erase the bitter memories of 2003 and 100 years of futility.

The National League Division Series begins tonight at Wrigley Field against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Closer turned starter Ryan Dempster (left), he of the 17-6 record this year, goes up against Derek Lowe. Expect a low-scoring affair, even if the wind is blowing out.

The Cubs were 5-2 against the Dodgers this year, sweeping at home and splitting at Dodger Stadium. But that was before the Dodgers traded for Manny Ramirez and Casey Blake. That offense got a huge upgrade, with Manny putting up MVP-type numbers since he got there.

But the Cubs had the highest-scoring offense in the NL this year, and their pitching more than matches up with the Dodgers. If we get a good Carlos Zambrano, followed by Rich Harden and Ted Lilly if we need him, I see no reason why the Cubs won't be playing in the National League Championship Series late next week.

Against who you ask? Either the Philadelphia Phillies or the Milwaukee Brewers (thanks Mets, for choking so bad that even the Brewers, king of the chokers, were able to get in). It should be a good series, but I think the Phillies pitching is better than Milwaukee's, which is CC Sabathia and who?

Could you imagine, however, if the Brewers made it? That 90-mile stretch from Chicago to Milwaukee would be one crazy scene for a possible seven games.

But I just don't see that happening. My predictions:

Cubs over Dodgers in four.
Phillies over Brewers in four.
Tampa Bay Rays over White Sux in five (and thanks to the Minnesota Twins, too. See Mets above).
Los Angeles Angels over Boston Red Sox in five.

In the NLCS I like the Cubs over the Phillies in six and the Angels over the Red Sox in seven.

World Series: Cubs over Angels in seven.

Jayson Stark of ESPN has a great analysis of the playoffs and picks the Cubs to win the World Series over the Red Sox.

One caveat: Heaven help me if it's the Cubs and White Sox in the World Series. Possibly losing the ultimate grudge match would be too much to bear. It wouldn't be pretty. And it'd be almost as bad if the Brewers were to make the Series instead of the Cubs.

You know Fox is hoping for either a Cubs-Red Sox or Cubs-Angels World Series. Fox would probably throw up if it was something like Rays-Brewers or White Sox-Brewers. How boring.

Stay tuned ladies and gentleman. The wild ride is about to begin.

Top photo courtesy AP

The Amazing Survivor Race

And so they return, two of my favorite reality TV shows, Survivor and The Amazing Race.

First Survivor, which for the first time is being filmed in HD. Africa never looked so beautiful. Remember that on this show attitude, smarts and athleticism will get you everywhere. Which is why we said goodbye to Michelle (bad attitude) and Gillian (no athleticism at all) on opening night.

My favorites? Gay-boy Charlie of course, and his BFF Marcus. Physics teacher Bob seems to be quite a hoot, and though Randy is depressing, he knows how to to play the game. None of the chicks really float my boat, but you have to admit that anybody named Sugar has to be kind of fun. And I think she is and will be.

As for the best show on TV, The Amazing Race: Beekeepers/hippies Anita and Arthur we heardly knew ye. From Los Angeles to Brazil was as far as they made it, faltering at the Detour.

Their choices: Hard Way Up or Soft Way Down. Teams could either climb a stone staircase on their hands and knees (ouch) and be asked a mystery question at the top, or teams can choose to climb down a cargo net attached to a building that’s 240 feet down. Every team chooses the cargo net but the frats, Andrew and Dan. They preferred to wreck their knees by climbing the stairs, and they got the question at the top wrong: how many stairs were there? Back to the bottom, where they have to reclimb.

So back to the beehives with ye Anita and Arthur after taking a looooong time to climb the Soft Way Down.

My favorites here? The frat boys and the nerds, Mark and Bill. I can already tell I'm not going to like the Southern Belles (Marissa and Brooke -- why do we have to have dumb blondes on every TAR? But I digress). The Tina half of Ken and Tina is already annoying, too. And the brother/sister duo of Nick and Starr are just a little too touchy-feely for me.

So away we go. See you next week.

Anita and Arthur photo courtesy CBS