Big Survivor Brother Idol

My perspective on the week in Reality Television:

*Well, Joshuah is gone from the Big Brother house, but our favorite gay housemate went out with class, unlike some people who have left. But how Sheila keeps slipping by without getting nominated is beyond me. She is so two-faced -- just ask James. And will somebody please tell Natalie to just not talk? Ever?

*Is it just me or are the guys SOOO much better than the girls this year on American Idol? David Archuleta, David Cook and Michael Johns are head and shoulders above anything the girls have to offer, though I do like Carly Smithson. Bye, bye Ramiele.

*After a week off, Survivor returns tonight. And it looks as if the injuries continue, if you believe the previews. Seems to me this season of Survivor, while a good one, has a bunch of wimps playing the game (not counting the injured players of course). Maybe it's just me.

Til next week ...

Joshuah photo courtesy CBS

Nationals Park

Awesome. Beautiful. That best describes the Washington Nationals new stadium on the banks of the Anacostia River in Washington, D.C. While RFK Stadium had it's own charms, there's really no comparison to Major League Baseball's newest stadium.

It's big, it's open. It has a gazillion food and drink outlets. It has PlayStation, You can bat against a simulated Randy Johnson or the Phillie Phanatic. It has a big bar, The Red Porch and The Red Loft in left-center field. Every seat has a cup holder.

And it has a BIG scoreboard. I mean big, tops in baseball. In high-def. Like Ed said, it's like watching our own TV in our own living room. Only with 40,000 of your friends. Did I mention how big it was?

Metro performed, at least for us perfectly, dropping us off a block from the gates. Even the security for a certain president's visit seemed to go off without a hitch. And Ryan Zimmerman ended an almost perfect Opening Day -- a very, very cold Opening Day -- with a walk-off homer in the bottom of the ninth to beat the Atlanta Braves 3-2.

All in all, there's really not much to dislike -- they do need to do something about the long lines at the concessions, which weren't any better than RFK. I was fourth in line for a hot dog and it took 35 minutes.

And we've already switched our season tickets. We were in section 138, right over the Nats bullpen. The seats were OK, but you couldn't see the scoreboard because of the upper deck and the sun was going to blind us right at gametime. So we moved to section 105, which still gives a perfect view of the rest of the park and the BIG scoreboard.

Our next games probably won't be until Cheryl and Val come for the Cubs series. The Cubs started the season with a tough 4-3, 10-inning loss to the Milwaukee Brewers, but it's still going to be a great season. Especially if Kosuke Fukudome continues to hit. He had a single, double, walk and three-run homer in his debut.

Thank God for baseball.

I'm back ...

... and there's lots to blog about ...

Who knew veggies could act?

The story of Oedipus, in eight minutes, performed by vegetables.

From Oedipusthemovie.com.

Opening Day ...

... for the Cubs is only 11 days, 23 hours, 28 minutes away.

Lots to do ...

We're getting to the time of year where it's all about being busy, busy, busy. To wit:

*I have a live Fantasy Baseball draft this Friday at noon. Six teams this year. I swore I'd never do that again. But I just can't help it. And get this -- because my sister Cheryl and friend K.C. will be working, I'll be drafting for them, too.
*Saturday is the spring meeting for the Metropolitan Media Softball League. To me, this meeting always signals the beginning of softball season. I just hope the weather starts cooperating. It's really been kind of sucky around here lately.
*Next Friday, I have my first-ever colonoscopy. Oh yea for me! I'm sure I'll be in good spirits, so to speak, later Friday when one of my other Fantasy teams has it's get together at The Brickskeller in D.C. I hope I am in good shape for that -- love The Brickskeller. They have more than 1,500 beers from around the world. And the atmosphere is unmatched.
*Friday's night's festivities are followed Saturday by the league's draft in Baltimore, which I hope will be done in time to get back for the Nationals-Orioles game that night at the new ballpark. I'm not counting on that though. Last year's draft was an all-day affair.
*Sunday night finds the baseball opener between the Braves and Nats at the new park. Never been to an opener, and never been to an opener at a new ballpark. Can't wait.
*After that, it's softball practice every weekend until the season opener April 19. Cheryl and Val come in the following weekend for the Cubs series.

Whew! As you can see, lots of places to go, people to see and things to do. I just hope everybody else can keep up...

Happy St. Patrick's Day ...

... to me!

A little late, but I wouldn't be able to celebrate it until I get off of work anyway. Still a couple of hours before I can celebrate what little bit of Irish heritage/blood I have.

I just wish I could have been in Chicago to see city officials continue the tradition of turning the Chicago River green.

Down the hatch!

It's NCAA tournament time

This is really about the only time of the year where I pay any attention at all to college basketball.

The NCAA bracket was announced yesterday, and really there are no big surprises. Arkansas got a No. 9 seed, which I think might be a little low considering they beat Vanderbilt and Tennessee in the SEC tournament. But losing Sunday's final to Georgia, which had to win just to get in, may have hurt them just a bit. Probably doesn't matter anyway. Assuming the Razorbacks beat Indiana, they get No. 1 seed North Carolina in the second round. Nice seein' ya Hogs!

My Final Four is pretty much Memphis, North Carolina, UCLA and Kansas. My pick to win the whole thing, and I've done two brackets so far, is Memphis. The Tigers have only one loss, and while Conference-USA may not be the strongest league in the world, going 32-1 or 33-1 is quite an accomplishment.

I'd love to say that I think Drake will go far, but my favorite team from Des Moines is likely to go out after two games, just like Arkansas. Would have been kind of cool if somehow they had been paired up in the same bracket.

Games tip-off Thursday, so make sure you get your brackets in on time. I know I will. When thousands of dollars are at stake, especially in this time of recession, every little bit helps.

Sister Sue update

It hasn't been a very good few days for Sue. Sammy called this morning to say that she was taken to the hospital and is currently in TCU, a minor version of ICU. She's been having seizures, which apparently can be traced to low potassium.

Anyway, I think it might be a good thing that she's in the hospital for a couple of days so she can get some fluids and food into her body. Until she gets her weight back above 80 there's not going to be a whole lot that she's going to be able to do for herself. And sitting around at home, I think, helped to get her in somewhat of a rundown condition.

It does look like she's done with the chemo, which is fine. She needs to do what she needs to do. And we need to accept it, no matter how hard it might be ...

The secret life of Peeps ...

... Who knew?

Funny

Oh, yippee

As if Opening Day of the Washington Nationals new ballpark won't be enough of a zoo comes word that the first pitch will be thrown out by none other than President George W. Bush.

He did the same when baseball return to the District in 2005. Ed and I were at that game too. Luckily we were there a couple of hours early because many people didn't get into the ballpark until the third inning.

So now Ed and Josh and I will have to figure out what time we'll leave for the game that day. Game starts at 8, but the park opens at 3:30 for people to just mill around have a looksy. Hopefully the Navy Yard Metro is done by then too. Trying to get 41,000 people off of South Capitol Street and into the ballpark by first pitch is going to be tough.

And now with "Mr. Mission Accomplished" paying a visit, it's going to be that much tougher.

Thanks W. For nothing.

Spring around the house

Ed and I have gotten a lot done around the outside of the house. He's been planting and doing stuff of that nature (he's also the resident firebuilder) while I've been cleaning the gutters, doing poop patrol and raking leaves.

We put the deck table out and cleaned the umbrella, though in some places you really can't tell. The birds around here eat a lot of red berries, and when they poop they poop red. And it stains just about everything it falls on.

Our neighbor Phyllis gave me another lighthouse, too. This one also seems to be an antique, and it came in four pieces that we had to glue together.

Josh and I got out and threw the softball around and went to the batting cages. A little sore today, but it's a good sore that I expected after getting in my first softball action of the spring. I'd like to be able to get out and at least throw the ball around as much as possible in the next few weeks.

And we're only two weeks away from the start of baseball, less than that for the Cherry Blossom Festival in D.C. Let the games begin.

Big Idol Survivor Brother

*I will start by saying that I was very disappointed cutie boy/male stripper David Hernandez was voted off of American Idol last week. What was America thinking by keeping Kristy Lee Cook? Her bad Dolly Parton take on the Beatles' Eight Days a Week was like listening to somebody scratching their fingernails on a chalk board.

Oh well. I guess David's past really did come back to bite him in the ass, so to speak.

Favorite David Archuleta had another forgettable night, forgetting the words to We Can Work It Out. And I have to say that Carly Smithson might be my favorite now.

*James is back in the house on Big Brother after having been voted off 10 minutes before. After America voted to have Alex possibly return to the house, the Houseguests voted instead to bring back what they already know best, and that would be the freak with the pink mohawk. The Head of Household competition went well into the night, so tonight's episode should be a good one.

*Chet's gone from Survivor, which is probably a good thing. I have to say that in all the years I've been watching Survivor, he's the first that I thought just didn't belong. He was hurt, true, but he just seemed out of place and didn't perform very well in challenges.

Jonathan Penner is gone too, and that's just too bad. He had an injury that had gotten infected, and in fact had to have surgery when he left the show to clean the infection and possibly avoid losing his leg and even his life. I think he had a good chance of winning.

My favorite continues to be Ozzie. But Oz, here's some advice -- don't get too comfortable, and don't get too full of yourself or you could be the next voted off.

Jonathan Penner photo courtesy CBS

Sister Sue update

Well, she didn't have her third chemo treatment last Thursday, and the way things are looking now she just may skip the rest altogether.

She had another panic attack before her appointment, and on Friday had to go to the emergency room because she had a couple of seizures. When they did an MRI of her brain, the two lesions that had been there -- thus, the chemo -- were gone. Don't know what the liver looks like, but that has to be good news, right?

At least that's the way Sue and Sammie are taking it. Like my sister Cheryl said, I don't walk in their shoes, so it's not for me to judge what they do. Sometimes quality really does mean more than quantity.

And in this case, there's probably nothing farther from the truth...

The scoop on poop

I know, you are all sitting there with all kinds of questions about something that everybody does once or twice a day. At least I hope you are. If not, then maybe this site is just for you.

Here are all the answers to all your questions about poop (ain't poop a funny word?).

AND, it includes a small photo gallery.

Bon appetite.

Life is just a fantasy ...

It's that time of year again, Fantasy Baseball. Love it. Live for it. It's better than any other Fantasy sport out there, though the NFL is a close second.

I'm kind of a nut about it. I have four Yahoo! teams and one NL-only auction league team with some guys at work (that one is an homage to former Tigers' pitcher/nut Mark Fidrych).

I've got a couple of live drafts coming up, but one of my Yahoo! teams had its draft last week (in a league titled "Organized Kaos." Funny). I really like this team, for several reasons:

*I have several Cubs, including new Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome. Appropriate considering my team is named "Got Fuku?" Other Cubs include catcher Geovany Soto, Carlos Zambrano and Ted Lilly.
*I also have two-time Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana, closers Mariano Rivera and Jason Isringhausen.
*My position players include Ichiro Suzuki, Nick Markakis, Josh Hamilton, Ken Griffey Jr., Miguel Tejada and Shane Victorino.

Ah, I can already taste the champagne ...

Space, the final frontier ...

I love everything that has to do with the Space Shuttle. Last night, Endeavour blasted off for the International Space Station. The nighttime launch was quite a sight.

I think it's too bad they're going to retire the Shuttle program in 2010. I know it would probably be costly, but it seems to me we should have a way to fly back and forth to the ISS until the new orbiter is ready to fly in 2015.

Not a sermon, just a thought.

You don't see this headline every day ...

I'm just a rambler ...

*My neighbor in back of us, Phylis, gave us an old lighthouse that looks like an antique. I love lighthouses -- we have two in the front yard, one being a bird feeder. Phylis is very nice. She and Ed and have bonded in the past over plants.

*I want to go bowling, but nobody wants to go with me. Maybe Josh does. Ed doesn't seem to want to. We used to be in a league, for several years actually. But now it's kind of pain, considering where we live and all. I've got about a 160 average. Which doesn't compare to my softball friend Bobby's 200 or sister Cheryl, who probably comes in close to that. Bitches.

*Ed doesn't want to see 2007 Best Picture winner No Country for Old Men either. That's OK. I pre-ordered it on iTunes, and it is supposed to arrive tomorrow. Josh and I will give it a look this weekend probably. Ed will probably watch too, though he says only because it'll be on in the same room. He likes the Coen Brothers, so I think he'll like this too. I just hope I'm not in for a big disappointment.

*Is the weather ever going to change? After last week's near-Tornado, we had more heavy rain and winds this weekend. And it's snowing everywhere in the country but here. I like winter, but even I'm getting tired of this crap. Bring on spring for God's sake.

*Softball is just around the corner. I'll continue to coach my work team that plays on Saturday mornings for as long as they'll have me, but this will probably be the last year I play for my gay team NITRO, which plays on Sunday afternoons. Believe it or not, I've decided there are other things to do with my weekends.

Did I just say that? I must be feverish ...

Maybe I panicked too soon ...

... Well, my Cubs are actually playing pretty well right now, though you wouldn't know it by their 5-7 record.

But they did beat up the Royals 13-1 yesterday. Ryan Dempster is looking good as he makes the move back to starter from closer. And it's too bad Daryle Ward doesn't play very good defense because the guy is hitting a ton. He was 4-for-4 yesterday and is hitting .692 this spring.

I had been worried because a slew of injuries had suddenly taken down guys like Alfonso Soriano, Mark DeRosa, Aramis Ramirez and Felix Pie. But all those guys are back in the lineup, or will be shortly. And the pitching staff is coming together nicely.

I still say the Cubs should get Brian Roberts from the Orioles, but DeRosa would become a super-utility guy and his at-bats would suffer. I really like both players. I'm sure the Cubs can make it work if it happens.

About the only thing Lou Piniella has to worry about now is what to do with Jason Marquis if he doesn't make the starting five. Rumors have had him going to the Tigers and Red Sox, but who knows? The guy does carry a little bit of baggage (a HUGE ego).

So, with opening day a little more than 21 days away, things are looking good. I'm feeling as good about this team as I have in a LONG time -- thus, the tattoo. My neighbor said something to the effect of "they haven't won the World Series. Now you've jinxed them." Whatever Mary.

No matter what happens this season, I'm a Cub fan for life. And with the tattoo, the afterlife too.

Talk about a bad hair day ...

This guy needs more than a shampoo & cut, I'd say.

Those funny Canadians ...

Cat Haiku

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;
My claws are not that sharp.

The ultimate invention

Apple's Steve Jobs probably isn't going to like the Air Poo, but it is fricking funny.

I know a couple of people who could put it to pretty good use ...

My kind of town, Chicago is ...

I found this picture of my favorite city in the world while Stumbling ...

I must be a die-hard Cubs fan

Well, I finally did it. Got my fourth tattoo. It should have been my first. Well, maybe second.

I got a Chicago Cubs tattoo today on the outside of my left leg, adding to my dalmatian, my seagulls and my softball bats/number. I've been talking about doing it for a long time, and wanted to do it and have it rarin' to go when the Cubs play the Nationals here in D.C. next month.

Josh is talking about getting one too. They are addictive -- I swore I'd never get another one after the dalmatian on my right ankle.

Oh well. I'm already planning my next one. Since I have some Cherokee blood (research indicates the Blackhawks name likely came from Sauk Indian chief Makataimeshekiakiak, who is believed to have been born in 1767 near Rock Island, Ill.), I'll do a Chicago Blackhawks logo.

Can't wait. Well, maybe I can.

Sister Sue update

Well, she was supposed to get her third chemo treatment yesterday, but didn't.

She said she was getting ready to go when she starting cramping up in her belly, which we figured was Sue having a panic attack. After seeing what she's been going through, I don't blame her for panicking a bit. She said that while she is feeling better, she wants to feel even that much better, when she does have the next treatment.

She also said she wants to gain some weight -- she's down to 78 pounds. That's about half of me. Yikes.

The appointment was rescheduled for next Thursday. Go Sue, Go.

Today's gratuitous photo of Andy Roddick ...

... Sorry, couldn't help myself.

This is Roddick during his 7-6 (7-5), 6-3 win over third-ranked Novak Djokovic at the Dubai Tennis Championships, advancing to the final. Thursday, he defeated world No. 2 Rafael Nadal, and after the match announced he and coach Jimmy Connors have gone their separate ways.

Connors must have done some good though -- it's the first time Roddick has defeated the world's #2 and #3 players consecutively in a tournament. Roddick is ranked sixth in the world.

Photo borrowed from Towleroad.

Big American Survivor Idol Brother

Joel, you didn't see it coming. But boy was it nice to see you get stabbed in the back and voted off of Survivor last night.

The Fans vs. Favorites theme is gone now, with both teams split up with 4 of each team. Joel was first pissed off because he ended up being Chet's teammate again. It didn't help matters when they were paired up in the reward challenge either. I kind of liked him until he turned into a bully, dragging Chet around like a rag doll on an obstacle course just to get a little meat in his belly. Then his campaign to get Chet voted out just pissed everybody else off.
Adios amigo.

On American Idol, David Archuleta wasn't as good as last week, but he's still my favorite. But watch out for David Cook. His rendition of Lionel Richie's Hello on Tuesday night caught the eye of Richie himself: "I'm putting that song out there tomorrow myself with David on it. That is a smash record that David did the other night. I couldn't believe it ... David just played it as If it was his song from the beginning as if there was no Lionel Richie involved ... he just killed it." Watch it here.

I do believe the right people were voted off. The guys are much better this year, and even better now that Wham! wannabe Luke is gone. And gay boy Danny Noriega. Danny boy, if you weren't so flamboyant I probably would have liked you a lot better. Girl, you need to butch it up a little.
As for Kady and Asia'h, the girls were, as Simon Cowell said, "forgettable."

Finally, Big Brother 9 just got a lot more interesting too. It's now one-on-one after they split up the couples. As Allison and Ryan were heading out the door after being voted off, the siren went off in the house and Julie announced the new format to everybody. And then announced that the house would be voting live to evict either Allison or Ryan. The words everybody hates to hear came out of Julie's mouth: "By a vote of 6-0, Allison, you have been voted out of the Big Brother house." Buh-bye.

Danny Noriega photo courtesy Fox

Scary!

From Towleroad, I give you McBush, your Republican presidential nominee. Freaky, isn't it?

Brett Favre retires

Favre.

That's all you had so say in our house. Ed and I would just yell out "FAVRE" everytime his name was mentioned on TV. And now he's gone.

The Green Bay Packers quarterback called it quits Wednesday after 17 years. I'll miss him, but I won't miss the many times he beat my beloved Chicago Bears. He stuck more daggers in my heart than just about anybody in the NFL. When the Bears did beat Favre, I considered it quite an accomplishment.

At least Favre got to go out on top, with a Super Bowl victory in his pocket, and on his own terms.

And while I hate the Packers, I despise the Minnesota Viqueens -- sorry, Vikings -- even more.

It's kind of funny -- Favre played 16 years in Green Bay after being drafted by the Atlanta Falcons (and don't you just know they regret ever trading him away. Hello, Michael Vick?). In that same period, the Bears went through 21 different starting QBs. TWENTY-ONE!!

Oh well. You live, you learn, you move on. As the Packers will now do with one Aaron Rodgers. Umm, good luck with that Green Bay.

And I'm sure John Madden's having a heart attack right about now too.

Say it ain't so!

Is Patrick Swayze dying??

According to The National Enquirer, Swayze has pancreatic cancer and has just five weeks to live. The magazine says the star of Dirty Dancing and Ghost was diagnosed in January and that the cancer has spread to other organs.

Apparently doctors aren't optimistic despite three doses of chemotherapy. An unidentified source told the Enquirer: "He was told he could have two more treatments, but his cancer was not responding. In short -- they held out little hope for a cure."

Who can forget his role in the gay classic To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar? And remember, he once had a top 10 single She's Like the Wind. And who can forget Road House? He was nominated for a Razzie Award for that one as worst actor of the year. And that mullet!

Maybe he draw some inspiration from one of his most famous lines from Dirty Dancing: "Nobody puts Baby into a corner."

Having a sister who is battling cancer herself, I can try and relate a little. But pancreatic cancer is the worst. As a co-worker said, it's like an arrow through the heart. Let's hope the news isn't true.

Swayze and Jennifer Grey photo from Dirty Dancing

The winds they were a howlin'

We had a hell of a storm roll through the Lorton/Pohick Bay/Mason Neck area last night. We lost power about 11 p.m., and it hadn't come back -- except for about 20 minutes around 6:30 a.m. -- when I left for work today around 11 a.m. Thank God I have a fan that runs on D batteries, or I might never have gotten any sleep.

Anyway, around 1ish in the morning, I woke up Ed. We were hearing noises (that whole freight train thing came to mind) we'd never heard in the house before, and the whole house seemed to be shaking.

This morning when I walked the yard, the damage to our trees and the surrounding yards could be seen pretty plainly. Lots of fallen branches and limbs, and at least one tree down -- the only thing keeping it from hitting the ground were the power lines it was leaning on.

The utility workers fixing the power in the area said it was a tornado. I don't doubt them. Winds at Reagan National Aiport were clocked at 74 mph.

One of the scariest nights I can remember. I don't want to go through that again anytime soon.

Yikes!

In an earlier post about the Cubs, I mentioned how I hoped the Cubs would include Felix Pie in any trade involving Brian Roberts and the Baltimore Orioles.

Turns out Pie may be damaged goods, at least for a little while. Cubs officials say Pie may miss a few days with "a twisted testicle."

OUCH! How does one go about twisting a testicle?? Not sure I want to know ...

Jon Lajoie

Remember when I goofed on Canadian comedian Jon LaJoie a while back? His video Everyday Normal Guy is a fricking hoot (he did a sequel, too). Well, he may finally be getting his 15 minutes of fame, if today's article in USA TODAY is any indication.

LaJoie, 27, is a funny, funny guy. I think you'll be hearing a lot more from him in the coming months. Check out his website here.

Flying takes on a whole new meaning

After watching this jet try to land in a storm and high winds Saturday in Hamburg, Germany, I only have one question:

Who was the brainiac in the control tower that told the pilot it was OK to land? He/she should be fired.

The jet did eventually land, on its second attempt, and nobody was hurt. But I'll bet many of those 131 passengers take Lufthansa up on their offer of "psychological counseling."

The Associated Press said the jet, after one wing scraped the runway, was repaired and put back into service Sunday. Would you get back on that jet??

Not just no, but hell no.

Sister Sue update

Well, her third chemo treatment is scheduled for Thursday. Whether she goes through with it or not is another question.

I talked with her yesterday, and I must say she sounded much better. She says she's just tired of feeling bad all the time. I know the treatments take A LOT out of her, for several days after the treatment.

But she's halfway home. If she would just look at it that way, and consider what Sammy has been going through the past few months, I think she would change her mind.

We'll just have to wait and see I guess...

Reality TV review

My life doesn't totally revolve around reality television, but a lot of people might think so. And there's not even an Amazing Race to talk about. Oh well.

Big Brother 9: Bye-bye Alison and Ryan. Although I think HOH Joshuah overreacted to Alison's fake lesbian story, I do think it's time for her to go. But why Joshuah hasn't had the same reaction to Sheila is interesting. Oh well. It's been nice knowing ya.

Survivor Micronesia: Mikey B. just got too big for his britches, so he, too, is on the outside looking in. Ozzy continues to amaze. He is probably the best athlete ever on Survivor. He must have held his breath under water five minutes in the immunity challenge, and he found the hidden immunity idol on Exile Island. Is Kathryn just an idiot? Three times on EI, and she comes up with nothing. Ozzy is there for five minutes, finds the idol and carves a fake one for anyone who might find it on a subsequent trip. He learned a lot from the Yau-Man.

American Idol: So far I think the right people have been voted out -- no big surprises so far. David Archuleta is my favorite until somebody else proves to be better. Final 16 competition begins with the guys tonight.

There you have it. The week in reality TV in a nutshell.

Ozzy photo courtesy CBS

I should do this for a living ...

Heartburn is already setting in

Alfonso Soriano has a broken finger. Aramis Ramirez has a sore shoulder. Mark DeRosa has a bum ticker.

Spring training has just begun for the Chicago Cubs and I'm already worried.

At least the pitching staff seems to be in good shape -- there haven't been many years you could say that -- save for Jason Marquis' holier-than-thou attitude. Hopefully the Cubs can ship him off to the Orioles in any kind of deal for Brian Roberts.

Please, please, please make this deal soon. With DeRosa's heart in question -- his real one, not his mojo -- somebody needs to come in and play second base. Give the O's what they want, and include Felix Pie. As you can see, I am not a Pie fan.

On a happier note, I now have tickets to all three games when the Cubs visit the Washington Nationals next month. Five tickets to each game. Cheryl and Val are coming in, and along with Josh we'll have a great time. I wasn't going to buy the Sunday tickets, mostly because of the quick turnaround from a Saturday night game to a Sunday afternoon game. But I figured I'd get them just in case.

Maybe by then I'll know just how many cases of Tums I'm going to need to get me through the season.

Jimmy Kimmel vs. Sarah Silverman

So by now, you've probably all heard about Sarah Silverman, the girlfriend of ABC late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, doing a video where she says she's "effing Matt Damon." When Kimmel saw that video for the first time, you could have heard a pin drop.

Well he got his revenge on Oscar night, broadcasting a video of him "effing Ben Affleck."

First the Silverman short, followed by the boyfriend.

By the way, hasn't Jimmy Kimmel come a long way from his days on Win Ben Stein's Money and The Man Show? He's actually a funny guy.

Enjoy.

Bud Light commercial

This commercial was supposed to run during the Super Bowl, but was considered too controversial for TV.

Too bad. It's fricking hilarious.

Little brown bears and gnats

So baseball season is upon us, with Opening Day only a month away.

So far so good in the Cubs camp, though Mark DeRosa's heart procedure -- he had an irregular heartbeat -- does concern me, even though the team says he'll be back on the field next week. Makes me wonder how long GM Jim Hendry will wait before finally pulling the trigger on getting second baseman Brian Roberts from the Orioles. If, of course, owner Peter Angelos signs off on it.

And the Washington Nationals are counting down to the opening of their brand spanking new ballpark. There are still a lot of issues to be resolved -- like traffic, parking and a so far unfinished Navy Yard Metro stop. We have tickets to the exhibition game on March 29 against the Orioles and the opener the following night against the Braves on ESPN.

There could be mayhem.

It's the start of Fantasy season, too. I'm in a league again with my friend K.C. and sister Cheryl. My team name this year is "Got Fuku?" I got the idea from some t-shirts I saw for sale on bleedcubbieblue.com after the Cubs signed Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome.

And if it ever warms up, we might be able to get out on the practice fields for softball.

I guess I need to remember it's still winter.

IDOL thoughts

After watching the chicks do their thing last night on American Idol, I'm convinced this is going to be a guy's year to win.

At this point, the competition is over, with 17-year-old David Archuleta by far the best singer of the remaining 20. Like the judges said last night, hopefully the others learned something from Simon Cowell's comments on Tuesday, when he said there were "19 miserable people" after Archuleta belted out John Lennon's Imagine.

And that's the other thing? Why doesn't EVERYBODY listen to what Simon Cowell has to say? He's really the only one of the trio of Randy "Dawg" Jackson, Paula "Sleepy" Abdul and Cowell who knows what he's talking about. Well, Randy does too, but he gets lost by the time Paula's finished her praise of every contestant who ever graced an Idol stage.

After tonight, 16 will be left. Should be interesting...

Idol judges, and Ryan Seacrest, photo courtesy Fox.

THIS ... is AMERican IDol

David Archuleta's performance on Tuesday night was, by a million hands down, the best performance I've ever seen on American Idol.

I was scared when I heard he was going to do John Lennon's Imagine, but he gladly proved me wrong.

Like Simon says, he's definitely the one to beat. And he's only 17.

Back from Little Rock

Let me just start by saying that most of my trip back home was good. It was an eventful trip, to say the least.

Josh and I flew in to Little Rock (pictured above) on Thursday night, a non-stop on United from Dulles. When we got to LR, Josh's luggage was there, but mine wasn't. So I made a claim and found out my bag was in Charlotte. CHARLOTTE, as in North Carolina. How a bag on a non-stop flight with about 20 people on board got to Charlotte, I'll never know. The only comment from the person on the other line about how it got lost was "Dulles is a very big airport." Um, OK.

So, I had to go out and buy a new suit for my Uncle Robert's funeral. Including shoes, belt, tie and toiletries, I spent about $250, which United is going to pay if I have anything to say about it.

But it doesn't end there. On the return flight, we were supposed to leave Little Rock on Sunday at 1:41 p.m. Well, we didn't leave until about 4, and there was nobody at the gate to tell us this. If I hadn't checked the flight on my iPhone, we'd have never known. At least my bag arrived this time.

But needless to say, I'll probably never fly United again.

As for the family, Sue isn't doing very well at all. She's having a bad time with the chemo and, despite having only two treatments left, says she's not doing anymore. Somehow we have to change her mind. I know it seems bad now, and after seeing her with my own eyes, I'm more worried about her than ever. But she's got to change her mind and attitude if she's going to beat this thing.

Brenda's doing well, still going to college, and is on track to graduate in May. She's finally on a diet, NutriSystem, and she seems to like it. She knows she has to lose some weight for her health, and if she plans to get a job after college. She has to pay those loans back somehow.

Ron's happier than a pig in sh*t, too. I bought him a new TV, a 20-inch Samsung. He had a TV, but he had fiddled around with it when he first got it, and now through the cable he was seeing a lot of snow. I warned him that he'd face the wrath of God if he fooled around with this one.

While we were at Ron's setting up the TV, a fire broke out on the second floor of his building, the Albert Pike Hotel. Kind of freaked us out a bit because at one point, we tried to go down an exit stairwell and it was filled with smoke. Never been through anything like that and don't care to again.

The fire was brought under control pretty quickly though, so everything turned out OK.

That's pretty much my trip in a nutshell. Back to the Rock in May. Before that, Cheryl and Val will be coming out to see the Cubs and Nationals play at the end of April.

Now if we can just get Sue on the right track ...

Reality TV update

I'm so glad Jen is gone from Big Brother 9. I feel a little bad for Parker, but Jen did nothing but stir up trouble while she was there.

Now with pink-mohawk James and Chelsia in charge, who gets evicted this week will be interesting. They promised Matt and Natalie that they wouldn't be put up, but if you know anything about Big Brother, don't believe a word anybody says.

And James, nice tattoos. I have three myself. But CBS obviously doesn't like what two of them depict, because they shaded over them at every opportunity Sunday. Click here to see what they say. And James -- if your secret on your gay porn past is revealed, look out.

As for Survivor, Yau-Man, we hardly knew ye. The long-time favorite was voted out at the last tribal council. Too bad. For a small guy, he was pretty smart and pretty physical. The others should have been worried because if he had found the hidden immunity idol, he'd have coasted to the final, again.

Until next week ...

James and Chelsia photo courtesy CBS

Heading to Little Rock

Josh and I are heading out to Arkansas on Thursday. My Uncle Robert (on my dad's side) died Tuesday.

Hadn't seen the man in many years, and in fact, sister Cheryl and I had some unpleasant moments with him growing up. But he and my dad were pretty close, and I think I owe it to him to go and pay my last respects.

It will also give me a good chance to catch up with my siblings. Sue has had her second chemo treatment -- hopefully, the effects aren't as bad as the first. Brenda's getting ready to graduate from college, which means a return trip to the Rock in May. And Ron is the picture of health from what I'm hearing. Let's hope so.

Cheryl won't be able to make it. I lucked out into a plane ticket/rental car for $250. She would have to pay about $900 to fly this late out of Des Moines, and there are winter storm warnings up all over Iowa, Missouri and Arkansas were she to decide to drive. I think she made the right decision.

Back on Monday. Hopefully, with plenty of updates on Survivor and Big Brother!

Way to go Ed ...

122,788 People

Nice.

Stolen from Ed's blog. Yikes.

A different set of Jaws

The movie Strange Wilderness got some of the worst reviews of any movie ever made.

This scene -- which I can't believe I haven't posted until now; Ed posted one on his blog the other day -- makes me laugh, makes Ed laugh, makes Josh laugh. It just makes everybody laugh, and apparently was the only funny scene in the movie.

I think Ed explained it on his blog, but this shark's laugh sounds like the laugh of the bingo lady on our Celebrity cruise last month. And that was about the time all the trailers starting hitting the radio and TV.

Isn't it kind of sad that our cruise might best be remembered for a laughing bingo lady/shark??

Could this be THE year?

I've been laying low since the unofficial start of spring training, trying to temper my enthusiasm for what I believe is going to be a magical season on the North Side of Chicago.

The Cubs seem to have all the ingredients for a World Series run -- Fukudome. Soriano. Ramirez. Lee. DeRosa. Theriot. Zambrano. Lilly. Wood. Maybe Brian Roberts. Another season under manager Lou Piniella (at top).

And if they did win, it would break a 100-year drought. Which also means I'm probably setting myself up for another dose of huge disappointment. To wit:

*1969: I was 9 the first time the Cubs broke my heart. Eight-game lead on the Mets in August, then the black cat at Shea Stadium. Miracle Mets go on to win the World Series.
*1984: Cubs take 2-0 lead on Padres in NLCS, winning both games at home. Cubs fly to San Diego, Steve Garvey blasts one, a ball goes through Leon Durham's legs and the Cubs are done. I'll never forgive then-Commissioner Peter Ueberroth for giving the Padres the home-field advantage in that series. Because there were no lights at Wrigley Field, television ratings would suffer if there weren't more games on in primetime. He even threatened to play the games at Comiskey Park or in of all places, St. Louis.
*1989: The Will Clark vs. Mark Grace series. I was sitting on the first-base line at Wrigley in Game 1 -- my first ever playoff game -- when Clark hit the grand slam off Greg Maddux. I was crushed. Great series, even though the Cubs lost in five games.
1998: I was also in attendance for Game 3 against the Braves, who won 6-2 to sweep the NL Division Series. I'll always remember this game because I flew in and met my sister Cheryl and her girlfriend Val at the game. I was supposed to stay at my buddy KC's house in Waukegan, but decided to drive back to Des Moines with Cheryl that night, thinking I could just call AirTran and pay a couple of bucks to change my ticket. Oh no. We ended up staying overnight in the Quad Cities area and I had to fly out of there the next morning. For like twice the original cost of the ticket. And I had to pay the hotel overnight. Sherry snored. It was a long night.
2003: Five outs from the World Series. Steve Bartman. Alex Gonzalez. My world crumbles. Marlins end up beating Yankees in World Series.
2007: Put Brewers in their place before folding like a tent against the Diamondbacks in the NLDS.
*2008: Who are the idiots that continue to keep my all-time Cub favorite Ron Santo out of the Hall of Fame? Do this man justice while he can still enjoy it.

So there you have it.

I do feel differently this year though. There's just something different in the air as the first crack of the bat approaches.

It's called hope. And faith. Or maybe I'm just being sucked in again.

It appears I'm a glutton for punishment.

Could it be?

Another try at my own version of The Amazing Race? Well, maybe.

Last year Ed and I took part in the Urban Dare, which bills itself as "Part photo hunt, part trivia, and part dares." It was fun, but we didn't do particular well. We may try again in this year's event, which is scheduled for April 19.

And a few years ago we participated in another Urban Dare-like contest. Didn't fare too well in that one either.

But in my email box this morning was an email from a Jason who said he read my blog. I couldn't believe it! Somebody other than Ed and other close friends and family actually saw my blog. I'm almost blushing!

Anway, this one is called High Trek Adventure. It seems very Urban Dare-like also, billing itself as "Solve! Race! Win!" What is High Trek Adventure you ask? Here's their definition:

"High Trek Adventure is a unique, one-of-a-kind urban adventure game where brains beat brawn! Teams of 2 solve clever clues and face fun challenges all while navigating the urban jungle via foot or on public transportation! It's a scavenger hunt, with all the thrills of the amazing race, mixed in with trivial pursuit, throw in a mini road race and add a dash of cat-and-mouse. And voila! You've got High Trek Adventure!"

But the D.C. version isn't until Sept. 20, which does seem light-years away, as Jason said. But it looks like fun. I think I'll sign us up for both races this year.

Updates to come...

Survivor, Big Brother updates

Hmmm. Watched Big Brother 9 last night and no mention of Neil's departure. Ed says they just haven't caught up with what was already filmed. Though there was a lot less of him and Joshuah on Sunday night. A lot less. I guess Julie Chen will fill us in on the live version Thursday.

In the meantime, what an idiot Jen is. Telling everybody in the house that she and Ryan came into the house as boyfriend/girlfriend pretty much sealed her fate. Even if she wins the Power of Veto on Tuesday, Ryan and Sheila will be voted off. And that's too bad because everybody's finding out that Sheila's not the bad guy in all this.

As for Survivor, the favorites got a bit of revenge by winning immunity this week. Fan Mary was voted off in a blindsided vote that really targeted her strongest alliance, Mikey B, who thought he was running the show. Welcome to Survivor, Mikey B.

And I'm telling you, watch out for Ozzy. He may be the best athlete Survivor has ever had. And it doesn't hurt that he's cute.

And why is there a picture of James from Big Brother? (courtesy CBS)? Nothing in particular. He just makes me laugh.

This would not be one of our Dalmatians ...

Speaking of dogs ...

... Found this one stumbling. How funny.

One handsome dog

Though I was quite dismayed there was not a Dalmatian in Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Show, I do have to say that Uno, the winner, is one fine looking pooch. Hard to believe a Beagle had never won Best in Show.

Thank God neither one of those silly-looking white poodles won. What a disgrace. Gives all dogs a bad name.

Big Brother 9 shocker

So I was all ready to tell you what an idiot Jacob was and how it got him and his ex-girlfriend Sharon kicked off the show when I read that half of the gay team of Neil and Joshuah are no longer on the show. Neil is gone, and Sharon is back.

Here's the latest from Towleroad. For those of you who have been watching Big Brother 9 (which has been pretty great so far) some rather stunning developments happened after last night's show on the live feeds concerning gay team Neil and Joshuah.

SPOILERS - Do not read any further if you don't want to read SPOILERS...

When the live feeds came on last night. Neil was gone, and Joshuah was seen packing Neil's suitcase and crying. No explanation was given.

Via GuyTVBlog: "It turns out that one of the guys, I can't remember who, reveals to other houseguests that Joshuah and Neil had their FIRST KISS in the kitchen earlier last night. Then sometime later Neil gets called into the Diary Room and is apparently told something, no one knows for sure. He NEVER comes back into the house. Joshuah is then called into the Diary Room and is told that his partner Neil is no longer part of the game. Allison Grodner, Big Brother 9's Executive Producer, apparently told Joshuah that he now has to pick between eliminated houseguests Jacob or Sharon to be his new partner. Joshuah makes his pick and then leaves the Diary Room. The houseguests are gathered in the living room and are told that Neil is no longer part of the game. No one is talking about the reason but Neil is OUT. They then tell the houseguests that a replacement player will enter the house. Everyone at this point apparently shouted out with happiness except Joshuah, being highly emotional, is livid that everyone has quickly forgotten about Neil. So in walks Joshuah's replacement... Sharon! Joshuah escapes to the bedroom where he and Neil slept together for the game and starts packing Neil's personal belongings, as instructed. Later in the night we find out from Joshuah that when he walked into the Diary Room that Neil's cup and microphone were left on the couch. Joshuah is upset that he didn't even get to say goodbye to Neil. Joshuah also reveals he was crying for about 20 minutes while the BB people were asking for Joshuah to make a decision as to who he wanted to be his new partner.

I, too hope everything is OK. Drama after only two episodes. Should be a good season.

Neil (left) and Joshuah courtesy CBS

The five most beautiful words in the English language

With thanks and appreciation, I stole this from bleedcubbieblue.com.

PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT TODAY!

In case anybody was wondering ...

... It's 47 days, 13 hours, 36 minutes until the Chicago Cubs open the season. It's 15 days, 14 hours, 21 minutes until the first spring game!

Hunka, hunka cheese

This one makes me snort too...

Fitness Bear

This cracks me up every time I see it ...

Kevin Pollock doing Christopher Walken

Actor/comedian Kevin Pollock is dead on in his impersonation on Letterman.

I love Christopher Walken ...

... so to celebrate, two great videos. The first one is from the Fat Boy Slim video Weapon of Choice.

I don't know why, but I chuckled pretty hard ...

Roger Clemens comes clean ...

... Pretty funny. Though recent developments may make it more true than he will ever admit. Didn't he learn anything from Pete Rose??

All in the Family

So Josh has been here a couple or three weeks and seems to be settling in. He found a job in the historic Occaquan part of Virginia at a restaurant called the Virginia Grille. Seems to be a nice fit.

But he just found out that his twin brother Jeff, who lives in Little Rock, has to have a biopsy on his neck next week because of some swelling and pain he's had in his lymph nodes there. Lord knows that's all we need, what with Sue in the middle of chemo treatments for her lung cancer.

Jeff and their other brother Jeremy showed their support for Sue by shaving their heads. Good for them, though Josh says he's not going to join that club.

Anyway, Josh may have to go back to Little Rock at some point, though we were both planning on going back in May for Brenda's college graduation. We'll see what happens.

Speaking of Brenda I'm assuming she's happy as a clam since she got her computer back. And haven't heard from Ron in a while. Will have to see what trouble he's getting into.

NFL thoughts ...

... I know it's a little late but ...

I was really disappointed the New York Giants won Super Bowl XLII. I really wanted the New England Patriots to win, for a couple of reasons. First, they were 18-0. That means something. While 18-1 is nice, the last loss means you screwed up in the most important game of the season. Congrats to Eli Manning for escaping that last sack, and to receiver David Tyree for making the catch that really wasn't because the nose of the ball hit the turf when he went down.

Second, I wanted them to win to shut up Mercury Morris of the Miami Dolphins. OK, fine. You guys were 17-0. In 1972. Different time, different game. Get over yourself.

And last but not least, the Washington Redskins finally have a head coach. Jim Zorn. Who? Yes, that Jim Zorn, the old Seahawks quarterback who used to light it up with Steve Largent. But doesn't he seem to be in over his head? I mean seriously, how can you call the team's colors maroon and black when everybody -- EVERYBODY in this area anyway -- knows they are burgundy and gold?

Good luck James. With Danny Boy Snyder owning this team, your leash will be short.

Zorn photo courtesty AP

Weird weather

So since we've been back from the cruise, the temperature's been rather warm, in the 50s to near 60. Today we woke up and it was about 10. What the f**k?

Guess I shouldn't complain too much. About 10 inches of snow on the ground in Iowa, and about 20 on the ground in Waukegan, Ill., where my friend KC lives. And it's been about 10 degrees there for about a month.

Oh to be back on the boat. I'm already checking for cruises for next year. But it'll be at least March of 2009 before we can do anything since Ed starts his new job Monday. He's leaving the Comfort Inn DC for The Melrose in downtown DC. I think he'll be much happier.

But I won't be until I'm back on another boat about a year from now...

Sister Sue update

Well, Sue finally got her head shaved and seemed OK about it. Husband Sammy even joined in by getting his hair cut really short.

She has only three more chemo sessions to go, with the next one on Thursday. She said recently that if the side effects were as bad this time as they were after the first she wouldn't do any more. But I think they've got the right cocktail worked out, so she'll be OK.

That would totally suck if she decided to quit halfway through. But then again she still smokes too. Just can't figure her out sometimes.

Drake Bulldogs

Suddenly, the basketball team from Des Moines, IA is all the rage. My sister Cheryl lives there and has been going to games, and I've been a fan for many years (I even proudly wear a Drake sweatshirt).

The Bulldogs could do some real damage in the NCAA Tournament, which is only a few weeks away. They are 22-1, 13-0 in Missouri Valley Conference and have won 21 games in a row. They still have some convincing to do though as they are only ranked 15th in the nation.

I have to give credit to Ed's brother Chris, who jumped on the Drake bandwagon sometime ago. I thought it was kind of strange at the time that he would be cheering for Drake, but maybe he knew something nobody else did. Check out his blog here.

Reality TV overload

So the latest installment of Survivor began last week, Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites. It's set in Micronesia (Palau). Looks like it's going to be pretty good.

A lot of big egos on the favorites side, so I was glad to see them get their asses handed to them by the favorites in the first episode. And I was also glad to see Johnny Fairplay, he of the dead grandmother who really wasn't, getting his butt voted out first. Whether or not he was lying about not being into it because of a pregnant girlfriend at home or not, I'm just glad he's gone.

Ozzy, Yau-Man and James are my picks to click on the favorites side. Erik and gay man Chet appear to be the interesting ones on the fans side. The first fan that needs to go? Kathleen, who when she greeted Chet last week said something to the effect of "I've never met a gay man before." Come on honey, there's probably one in your family right now. And the previews don't look too good for her next week anyway.

Tomorrow is the beginning of Big Brother 9. Can't wait for that either. Julie Chen promises lots of twists and turns in this one, including people being paired up before they go in the house. They'll be doing everything together, including sleeping and getting voted off. Should be interesting. Two gays are on the show too. Did I say it should be interesting?

Ozzy photo courtesy CBS

The cruise ...

... As I said in a previous post, our trip to Jamaica and the Cayman Islands is over. But what a cruise it was. I can't wait until the next one, maybe next year with Ed's parents.

Jamaica was beautiful, but very poor. In contrast, Grand Cayman was gorgeous and rich, the complete opposite of Jamaica. And while I had a GREAT time in both countries, the ziplining canopy tour in Jamaica was one of the highlights of the trip. We did a 4x4 Jeep adventure in Grand Cayman, but the weather had been dry lately, so the four-wheeling was somewhat of a letdown. But we did get to see a lot of the island, and we visited Hell, which was a trip in and of itself.

Ed has set up a website with lots of pictures, and if you visit his blog you'll get to see a funny video of a woman who's dancing leaves a lot to be desired. But it was quite funny.

More to come ...

Heath Ledger

How sad such a bright light was snuffed out so early. It's also very sad to find out that he died from an accidental overdose of prescription and over-the-counter drugs.

If there was any good news out of the official cause of death, it's that no illegal drugs were found in his system.

There's a lesson to be learned in all of this. I just hope the rest of Hollywood gets it.

Brittany Spears, the train wreck of the year -- are you listening??

Heath Ledger as the Joker from The Dark Knight, out this summer

We're back!

And how unfortunate is that? I haven't been able to blog much because of work, Josh, etc. But I'll be giving my two cents worth on plenty of issues in the next couple of days.

I know you all can't wait ...