Who knew veggies could act?

The story of Oedipus, in eight minutes, performed by vegetables.

From Oedipusthemovie.com.

Opening Day ...

... for the Cubs is only 11 days, 23 hours, 28 minutes away.

Lots to do ...

We're getting to the time of year where it's all about being busy, busy, busy. To wit:

*I have a live Fantasy Baseball draft this Friday at noon. Six teams this year. I swore I'd never do that again. But I just can't help it. And get this -- because my sister Cheryl and friend K.C. will be working, I'll be drafting for them, too.
*Saturday is the spring meeting for the Metropolitan Media Softball League. To me, this meeting always signals the beginning of softball season. I just hope the weather starts cooperating. It's really been kind of sucky around here lately.
*Next Friday, I have my first-ever colonoscopy. Oh yea for me! I'm sure I'll be in good spirits, so to speak, later Friday when one of my other Fantasy teams has it's get together at The Brickskeller in D.C. I hope I am in good shape for that -- love The Brickskeller. They have more than 1,500 beers from around the world. And the atmosphere is unmatched.
*Friday's night's festivities are followed Saturday by the league's draft in Baltimore, which I hope will be done in time to get back for the Nationals-Orioles game that night at the new ballpark. I'm not counting on that though. Last year's draft was an all-day affair.
*Sunday night finds the baseball opener between the Braves and Nats at the new park. Never been to an opener, and never been to an opener at a new ballpark. Can't wait.
*After that, it's softball practice every weekend until the season opener April 19. Cheryl and Val come in the following weekend for the Cubs series.

Whew! As you can see, lots of places to go, people to see and things to do. I just hope everybody else can keep up...

Happy St. Patrick's Day ...

... to me!

A little late, but I wouldn't be able to celebrate it until I get off of work anyway. Still a couple of hours before I can celebrate what little bit of Irish heritage/blood I have.

I just wish I could have been in Chicago to see city officials continue the tradition of turning the Chicago River green.

Down the hatch!

It's NCAA tournament time

This is really about the only time of the year where I pay any attention at all to college basketball.

The NCAA bracket was announced yesterday, and really there are no big surprises. Arkansas got a No. 9 seed, which I think might be a little low considering they beat Vanderbilt and Tennessee in the SEC tournament. But losing Sunday's final to Georgia, which had to win just to get in, may have hurt them just a bit. Probably doesn't matter anyway. Assuming the Razorbacks beat Indiana, they get No. 1 seed North Carolina in the second round. Nice seein' ya Hogs!

My Final Four is pretty much Memphis, North Carolina, UCLA and Kansas. My pick to win the whole thing, and I've done two brackets so far, is Memphis. The Tigers have only one loss, and while Conference-USA may not be the strongest league in the world, going 32-1 or 33-1 is quite an accomplishment.

I'd love to say that I think Drake will go far, but my favorite team from Des Moines is likely to go out after two games, just like Arkansas. Would have been kind of cool if somehow they had been paired up in the same bracket.

Games tip-off Thursday, so make sure you get your brackets in on time. I know I will. When thousands of dollars are at stake, especially in this time of recession, every little bit helps.

Sister Sue update

It hasn't been a very good few days for Sue. Sammy called this morning to say that she was taken to the hospital and is currently in TCU, a minor version of ICU. She's been having seizures, which apparently can be traced to low potassium.

Anyway, I think it might be a good thing that she's in the hospital for a couple of days so she can get some fluids and food into her body. Until she gets her weight back above 80 there's not going to be a whole lot that she's going to be able to do for herself. And sitting around at home, I think, helped to get her in somewhat of a rundown condition.

It does look like she's done with the chemo, which is fine. She needs to do what she needs to do. And we need to accept it, no matter how hard it might be ...

The secret life of Peeps ...

... Who knew?

Funny

Oh, yippee

As if Opening Day of the Washington Nationals new ballpark won't be enough of a zoo comes word that the first pitch will be thrown out by none other than President George W. Bush.

He did the same when baseball return to the District in 2005. Ed and I were at that game too. Luckily we were there a couple of hours early because many people didn't get into the ballpark until the third inning.

So now Ed and Josh and I will have to figure out what time we'll leave for the game that day. Game starts at 8, but the park opens at 3:30 for people to just mill around have a looksy. Hopefully the Navy Yard Metro is done by then too. Trying to get 41,000 people off of South Capitol Street and into the ballpark by first pitch is going to be tough.

And now with "Mr. Mission Accomplished" paying a visit, it's going to be that much tougher.

Thanks W. For nothing.

Spring around the house

Ed and I have gotten a lot done around the outside of the house. He's been planting and doing stuff of that nature (he's also the resident firebuilder) while I've been cleaning the gutters, doing poop patrol and raking leaves.

We put the deck table out and cleaned the umbrella, though in some places you really can't tell. The birds around here eat a lot of red berries, and when they poop they poop red. And it stains just about everything it falls on.

Our neighbor Phyllis gave me another lighthouse, too. This one also seems to be an antique, and it came in four pieces that we had to glue together.

Josh and I got out and threw the softball around and went to the batting cages. A little sore today, but it's a good sore that I expected after getting in my first softball action of the spring. I'd like to be able to get out and at least throw the ball around as much as possible in the next few weeks.

And we're only two weeks away from the start of baseball, less than that for the Cherry Blossom Festival in D.C. Let the games begin.

Big Idol Survivor Brother

*I will start by saying that I was very disappointed cutie boy/male stripper David Hernandez was voted off of American Idol last week. What was America thinking by keeping Kristy Lee Cook? Her bad Dolly Parton take on the Beatles' Eight Days a Week was like listening to somebody scratching their fingernails on a chalk board.

Oh well. I guess David's past really did come back to bite him in the ass, so to speak.

Favorite David Archuleta had another forgettable night, forgetting the words to We Can Work It Out. And I have to say that Carly Smithson might be my favorite now.

*James is back in the house on Big Brother after having been voted off 10 minutes before. After America voted to have Alex possibly return to the house, the Houseguests voted instead to bring back what they already know best, and that would be the freak with the pink mohawk. The Head of Household competition went well into the night, so tonight's episode should be a good one.

*Chet's gone from Survivor, which is probably a good thing. I have to say that in all the years I've been watching Survivor, he's the first that I thought just didn't belong. He was hurt, true, but he just seemed out of place and didn't perform very well in challenges.

Jonathan Penner is gone too, and that's just too bad. He had an injury that had gotten infected, and in fact had to have surgery when he left the show to clean the infection and possibly avoid losing his leg and even his life. I think he had a good chance of winning.

My favorite continues to be Ozzie. But Oz, here's some advice -- don't get too comfortable, and don't get too full of yourself or you could be the next voted off.

Jonathan Penner photo courtesy CBS

Sister Sue update

Well, she didn't have her third chemo treatment last Thursday, and the way things are looking now she just may skip the rest altogether.

She had another panic attack before her appointment, and on Friday had to go to the emergency room because she had a couple of seizures. When they did an MRI of her brain, the two lesions that had been there -- thus, the chemo -- were gone. Don't know what the liver looks like, but that has to be good news, right?

At least that's the way Sue and Sammie are taking it. Like my sister Cheryl said, I don't walk in their shoes, so it's not for me to judge what they do. Sometimes quality really does mean more than quantity.

And in this case, there's probably nothing farther from the truth...

The scoop on poop

I know, you are all sitting there with all kinds of questions about something that everybody does once or twice a day. At least I hope you are. If not, then maybe this site is just for you.

Here are all the answers to all your questions about poop (ain't poop a funny word?).

AND, it includes a small photo gallery.

Bon appetite.

Life is just a fantasy ...

It's that time of year again, Fantasy Baseball. Love it. Live for it. It's better than any other Fantasy sport out there, though the NFL is a close second.

I'm kind of a nut about it. I have four Yahoo! teams and one NL-only auction league team with some guys at work (that one is an homage to former Tigers' pitcher/nut Mark Fidrych).

I've got a couple of live drafts coming up, but one of my Yahoo! teams had its draft last week (in a league titled "Organized Kaos." Funny). I really like this team, for several reasons:

*I have several Cubs, including new Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome. Appropriate considering my team is named "Got Fuku?" Other Cubs include catcher Geovany Soto, Carlos Zambrano and Ted Lilly.
*I also have two-time Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana, closers Mariano Rivera and Jason Isringhausen.
*My position players include Ichiro Suzuki, Nick Markakis, Josh Hamilton, Ken Griffey Jr., Miguel Tejada and Shane Victorino.

Ah, I can already taste the champagne ...

Space, the final frontier ...

I love everything that has to do with the Space Shuttle. Last night, Endeavour blasted off for the International Space Station. The nighttime launch was quite a sight.

I think it's too bad they're going to retire the Shuttle program in 2010. I know it would probably be costly, but it seems to me we should have a way to fly back and forth to the ISS until the new orbiter is ready to fly in 2015.

Not a sermon, just a thought.

You don't see this headline every day ...

I'm just a rambler ...

*My neighbor in back of us, Phylis, gave us an old lighthouse that looks like an antique. I love lighthouses -- we have two in the front yard, one being a bird feeder. Phylis is very nice. She and Ed and have bonded in the past over plants.

*I want to go bowling, but nobody wants to go with me. Maybe Josh does. Ed doesn't seem to want to. We used to be in a league, for several years actually. But now it's kind of pain, considering where we live and all. I've got about a 160 average. Which doesn't compare to my softball friend Bobby's 200 or sister Cheryl, who probably comes in close to that. Bitches.

*Ed doesn't want to see 2007 Best Picture winner No Country for Old Men either. That's OK. I pre-ordered it on iTunes, and it is supposed to arrive tomorrow. Josh and I will give it a look this weekend probably. Ed will probably watch too, though he says only because it'll be on in the same room. He likes the Coen Brothers, so I think he'll like this too. I just hope I'm not in for a big disappointment.

*Is the weather ever going to change? After last week's near-Tornado, we had more heavy rain and winds this weekend. And it's snowing everywhere in the country but here. I like winter, but even I'm getting tired of this crap. Bring on spring for God's sake.

*Softball is just around the corner. I'll continue to coach my work team that plays on Saturday mornings for as long as they'll have me, but this will probably be the last year I play for my gay team NITRO, which plays on Sunday afternoons. Believe it or not, I've decided there are other things to do with my weekends.

Did I just say that? I must be feverish ...

Maybe I panicked too soon ...

... Well, my Cubs are actually playing pretty well right now, though you wouldn't know it by their 5-7 record.

But they did beat up the Royals 13-1 yesterday. Ryan Dempster is looking good as he makes the move back to starter from closer. And it's too bad Daryle Ward doesn't play very good defense because the guy is hitting a ton. He was 4-for-4 yesterday and is hitting .692 this spring.

I had been worried because a slew of injuries had suddenly taken down guys like Alfonso Soriano, Mark DeRosa, Aramis Ramirez and Felix Pie. But all those guys are back in the lineup, or will be shortly. And the pitching staff is coming together nicely.

I still say the Cubs should get Brian Roberts from the Orioles, but DeRosa would become a super-utility guy and his at-bats would suffer. I really like both players. I'm sure the Cubs can make it work if it happens.

About the only thing Lou Piniella has to worry about now is what to do with Jason Marquis if he doesn't make the starting five. Rumors have had him going to the Tigers and Red Sox, but who knows? The guy does carry a little bit of baggage (a HUGE ego).

So, with opening day a little more than 21 days away, things are looking good. I'm feeling as good about this team as I have in a LONG time -- thus, the tattoo. My neighbor said something to the effect of "they haven't won the World Series. Now you've jinxed them." Whatever Mary.

No matter what happens this season, I'm a Cub fan for life. And with the tattoo, the afterlife too.

Talk about a bad hair day ...

This guy needs more than a shampoo & cut, I'd say.

Those funny Canadians ...

Cat Haiku

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;
My claws are not that sharp.

The ultimate invention

Apple's Steve Jobs probably isn't going to like the Air Poo, but it is fricking funny.

I know a couple of people who could put it to pretty good use ...

My kind of town, Chicago is ...

I found this picture of my favorite city in the world while Stumbling ...

I must be a die-hard Cubs fan

Well, I finally did it. Got my fourth tattoo. It should have been my first. Well, maybe second.

I got a Chicago Cubs tattoo today on the outside of my left leg, adding to my dalmatian, my seagulls and my softball bats/number. I've been talking about doing it for a long time, and wanted to do it and have it rarin' to go when the Cubs play the Nationals here in D.C. next month.

Josh is talking about getting one too. They are addictive -- I swore I'd never get another one after the dalmatian on my right ankle.

Oh well. I'm already planning my next one. Since I have some Cherokee blood (research indicates the Blackhawks name likely came from Sauk Indian chief Makataimeshekiakiak, who is believed to have been born in 1767 near Rock Island, Ill.), I'll do a Chicago Blackhawks logo.

Can't wait. Well, maybe I can.

Sister Sue update

Well, she was supposed to get her third chemo treatment yesterday, but didn't.

She said she was getting ready to go when she starting cramping up in her belly, which we figured was Sue having a panic attack. After seeing what she's been going through, I don't blame her for panicking a bit. She said that while she is feeling better, she wants to feel even that much better, when she does have the next treatment.

She also said she wants to gain some weight -- she's down to 78 pounds. That's about half of me. Yikes.

The appointment was rescheduled for next Thursday. Go Sue, Go.

Today's gratuitous photo of Andy Roddick ...

... Sorry, couldn't help myself.

This is Roddick during his 7-6 (7-5), 6-3 win over third-ranked Novak Djokovic at the Dubai Tennis Championships, advancing to the final. Thursday, he defeated world No. 2 Rafael Nadal, and after the match announced he and coach Jimmy Connors have gone their separate ways.

Connors must have done some good though -- it's the first time Roddick has defeated the world's #2 and #3 players consecutively in a tournament. Roddick is ranked sixth in the world.

Photo borrowed from Towleroad.

Big American Survivor Idol Brother

Joel, you didn't see it coming. But boy was it nice to see you get stabbed in the back and voted off of Survivor last night.

The Fans vs. Favorites theme is gone now, with both teams split up with 4 of each team. Joel was first pissed off because he ended up being Chet's teammate again. It didn't help matters when they were paired up in the reward challenge either. I kind of liked him until he turned into a bully, dragging Chet around like a rag doll on an obstacle course just to get a little meat in his belly. Then his campaign to get Chet voted out just pissed everybody else off.
Adios amigo.

On American Idol, David Archuleta wasn't as good as last week, but he's still my favorite. But watch out for David Cook. His rendition of Lionel Richie's Hello on Tuesday night caught the eye of Richie himself: "I'm putting that song out there tomorrow myself with David on it. That is a smash record that David did the other night. I couldn't believe it ... David just played it as If it was his song from the beginning as if there was no Lionel Richie involved ... he just killed it." Watch it here.

I do believe the right people were voted off. The guys are much better this year, and even better now that Wham! wannabe Luke is gone. And gay boy Danny Noriega. Danny boy, if you weren't so flamboyant I probably would have liked you a lot better. Girl, you need to butch it up a little.
As for Kady and Asia'h, the girls were, as Simon Cowell said, "forgettable."

Finally, Big Brother 9 just got a lot more interesting too. It's now one-on-one after they split up the couples. As Allison and Ryan were heading out the door after being voted off, the siren went off in the house and Julie announced the new format to everybody. And then announced that the house would be voting live to evict either Allison or Ryan. The words everybody hates to hear came out of Julie's mouth: "By a vote of 6-0, Allison, you have been voted out of the Big Brother house." Buh-bye.

Danny Noriega photo courtesy Fox

Scary!

From Towleroad, I give you McBush, your Republican presidential nominee. Freaky, isn't it?

Brett Favre retires

Favre.

That's all you had so say in our house. Ed and I would just yell out "FAVRE" everytime his name was mentioned on TV. And now he's gone.

The Green Bay Packers quarterback called it quits Wednesday after 17 years. I'll miss him, but I won't miss the many times he beat my beloved Chicago Bears. He stuck more daggers in my heart than just about anybody in the NFL. When the Bears did beat Favre, I considered it quite an accomplishment.

At least Favre got to go out on top, with a Super Bowl victory in his pocket, and on his own terms.

And while I hate the Packers, I despise the Minnesota Viqueens -- sorry, Vikings -- even more.

It's kind of funny -- Favre played 16 years in Green Bay after being drafted by the Atlanta Falcons (and don't you just know they regret ever trading him away. Hello, Michael Vick?). In that same period, the Bears went through 21 different starting QBs. TWENTY-ONE!!

Oh well. You live, you learn, you move on. As the Packers will now do with one Aaron Rodgers. Umm, good luck with that Green Bay.

And I'm sure John Madden's having a heart attack right about now too.

Say it ain't so!

Is Patrick Swayze dying??

According to The National Enquirer, Swayze has pancreatic cancer and has just five weeks to live. The magazine says the star of Dirty Dancing and Ghost was diagnosed in January and that the cancer has spread to other organs.

Apparently doctors aren't optimistic despite three doses of chemotherapy. An unidentified source told the Enquirer: "He was told he could have two more treatments, but his cancer was not responding. In short -- they held out little hope for a cure."

Who can forget his role in the gay classic To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar? And remember, he once had a top 10 single She's Like the Wind. And who can forget Road House? He was nominated for a Razzie Award for that one as worst actor of the year. And that mullet!

Maybe he draw some inspiration from one of his most famous lines from Dirty Dancing: "Nobody puts Baby into a corner."

Having a sister who is battling cancer herself, I can try and relate a little. But pancreatic cancer is the worst. As a co-worker said, it's like an arrow through the heart. Let's hope the news isn't true.

Swayze and Jennifer Grey photo from Dirty Dancing

The winds they were a howlin'

We had a hell of a storm roll through the Lorton/Pohick Bay/Mason Neck area last night. We lost power about 11 p.m., and it hadn't come back -- except for about 20 minutes around 6:30 a.m. -- when I left for work today around 11 a.m. Thank God I have a fan that runs on D batteries, or I might never have gotten any sleep.

Anyway, around 1ish in the morning, I woke up Ed. We were hearing noises (that whole freight train thing came to mind) we'd never heard in the house before, and the whole house seemed to be shaking.

This morning when I walked the yard, the damage to our trees and the surrounding yards could be seen pretty plainly. Lots of fallen branches and limbs, and at least one tree down -- the only thing keeping it from hitting the ground were the power lines it was leaning on.

The utility workers fixing the power in the area said it was a tornado. I don't doubt them. Winds at Reagan National Aiport were clocked at 74 mph.

One of the scariest nights I can remember. I don't want to go through that again anytime soon.

Yikes!

In an earlier post about the Cubs, I mentioned how I hoped the Cubs would include Felix Pie in any trade involving Brian Roberts and the Baltimore Orioles.

Turns out Pie may be damaged goods, at least for a little while. Cubs officials say Pie may miss a few days with "a twisted testicle."

OUCH! How does one go about twisting a testicle?? Not sure I want to know ...

Jon Lajoie

Remember when I goofed on Canadian comedian Jon LaJoie a while back? His video Everyday Normal Guy is a fricking hoot (he did a sequel, too). Well, he may finally be getting his 15 minutes of fame, if today's article in USA TODAY is any indication.

LaJoie, 27, is a funny, funny guy. I think you'll be hearing a lot more from him in the coming months. Check out his website here.

Flying takes on a whole new meaning

After watching this jet try to land in a storm and high winds Saturday in Hamburg, Germany, I only have one question:

Who was the brainiac in the control tower that told the pilot it was OK to land? He/she should be fired.

The jet did eventually land, on its second attempt, and nobody was hurt. But I'll bet many of those 131 passengers take Lufthansa up on their offer of "psychological counseling."

The Associated Press said the jet, after one wing scraped the runway, was repaired and put back into service Sunday. Would you get back on that jet??

Not just no, but hell no.

Sister Sue update

Well, her third chemo treatment is scheduled for Thursday. Whether she goes through with it or not is another question.

I talked with her yesterday, and I must say she sounded much better. She says she's just tired of feeling bad all the time. I know the treatments take A LOT out of her, for several days after the treatment.

But she's halfway home. If she would just look at it that way, and consider what Sammy has been going through the past few months, I think she would change her mind.

We'll just have to wait and see I guess...

Reality TV review

My life doesn't totally revolve around reality television, but a lot of people might think so. And there's not even an Amazing Race to talk about. Oh well.

Big Brother 9: Bye-bye Alison and Ryan. Although I think HOH Joshuah overreacted to Alison's fake lesbian story, I do think it's time for her to go. But why Joshuah hasn't had the same reaction to Sheila is interesting. Oh well. It's been nice knowing ya.

Survivor Micronesia: Mikey B. just got too big for his britches, so he, too, is on the outside looking in. Ozzy continues to amaze. He is probably the best athlete ever on Survivor. He must have held his breath under water five minutes in the immunity challenge, and he found the hidden immunity idol on Exile Island. Is Kathryn just an idiot? Three times on EI, and she comes up with nothing. Ozzy is there for five minutes, finds the idol and carves a fake one for anyone who might find it on a subsequent trip. He learned a lot from the Yau-Man.

American Idol: So far I think the right people have been voted out -- no big surprises so far. David Archuleta is my favorite until somebody else proves to be better. Final 16 competition begins with the guys tonight.

There you have it. The week in reality TV in a nutshell.

Ozzy photo courtesy CBS

I should do this for a living ...

Heartburn is already setting in

Alfonso Soriano has a broken finger. Aramis Ramirez has a sore shoulder. Mark DeRosa has a bum ticker.

Spring training has just begun for the Chicago Cubs and I'm already worried.

At least the pitching staff seems to be in good shape -- there haven't been many years you could say that -- save for Jason Marquis' holier-than-thou attitude. Hopefully the Cubs can ship him off to the Orioles in any kind of deal for Brian Roberts.

Please, please, please make this deal soon. With DeRosa's heart in question -- his real one, not his mojo -- somebody needs to come in and play second base. Give the O's what they want, and include Felix Pie. As you can see, I am not a Pie fan.

On a happier note, I now have tickets to all three games when the Cubs visit the Washington Nationals next month. Five tickets to each game. Cheryl and Val are coming in, and along with Josh we'll have a great time. I wasn't going to buy the Sunday tickets, mostly because of the quick turnaround from a Saturday night game to a Sunday afternoon game. But I figured I'd get them just in case.

Maybe by then I'll know just how many cases of Tums I'm going to need to get me through the season.